Baby I Dont Know Why I Love You So Song
Love songs are where nosotros become our passion, our soul — and virtually of our worst ideas.
Cipher practiced tin come of this. Photograph by Achim Voss/Flickr.
Throughout human history, oceans have been crossed, mountains have been scaled, and nifty families take blossomed — all considering of a few simple chords and a melody that inflamed a centre and propelled it on a noble, romantic mission.
On the other manus, that time you told that girl you merely started seeing that you would "grab a grenade" for her? Yous did that because of a love song. And it wasn't exactly a coincidence that she of a sudden decided to "lose your number" and motion back to Milwaukee to "effigy some stuff out."
"It's just, my mom. You know? And L.A. is so hot in the summer. And aye, my mom." Photo via iStock.
That time you held that boom box over your head outside your ex's house? You did that because of a beloved song. And 50 hours of community service later on, you lot're still not back together.
Love songs are great. They make our hearts vanquish faster. They inspire us to have risks and put our feelings on the line. And they give u.s. terrible, terrible ideas about how actual, real-life human relationships should work.
They're amazing. So astonishing. And also terrible.
Here are vi love songs that sound romantic but aren't, and ane vocal that doesn't sound romantic but totally is:
one. "God Merely Knows," by The Embankment Boys
You lot tin can keep your "Surfin' Safaris," your "I Go Arounds," and your "Aid me Rhondas."
When it comes to The Embankment Boys, "God Simply Knows" is where it'due south at. A lush garden of soft horns and breezy tune. A tie-dye swirl of sound. A landscape of haunted innocence with some of the almost heartrending lyrics ever committed to the back of a surfboard.
Youth! Youth! Youth! Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images.
Here's why it sounds romantic:
I may not e'er love y'all
Simply long as there are stars above y'all
Y'all never need to dubiety it
I'll make you so sure nigh it
God only knows what I'd be without you lot
If you're traipsing through a meadow in a sundress with your beloved and non playing "God But Knows" on your iPod, you should really stop and start over.
If you're lazily bumping a beach ball over a volleyball net and "God Only Knows" isn't playing somewhere in the back of your mind, you demand to rethink the choices that got you to this signal.
If yous're a video editor compiling footage of grainy hippies frolicking in the mud and you're not underscoring information technology with the opening chords of "God Only Knows," you are doing it incorrect.
Hippies, likely on their way to a mud frolic. Photo by Colin Davey/Getty Images.
It'south a song that merely feels similar love. Pure beloved. Immature love. Dear with a chill, kelp-y vibe.
What could exist wrong with that?
Here's why it'south actually really, actually unromantic:
At that place's goose egg incorrect with loving someone. Sending them flowers. Leaving over-the-superlative notes in their P.O. boxes. Stroking their pilus as they fall asleep while you whisper the complete works of Nicholas Sparks into their ear.
"Miles Ryan stood on the dorsum porch of his house, smoking a cigarette..." Photograph by hatchettebookgroup.biz.
Just there is such a thing as loving someone a skosh too much.
If you should ever leave me
Though life would withal get on believe me
The world could testify nothing to me
Then what good would living do me?
Wait, I go it. Breakups suck. There'due south no getting around that. Simply good God.
There's a huge deviation between saying: "Hey babe, you are my first and foremost everything and I'll be bummed if you go." And proverb: "Welp, you accepted that job in Seattle, and then I'm just gonna chug a bunch of nightshade and call it a life."
Merely that's pretty much the gist hither. Which makes this line...
God only knows what I'd be without you lot
...horror-movie creepy. Because the answer, plainly, is: "I'd be a corpse!"
Ah well. Nosotros had a proficient run. Photo via iStock.
That's not love. That's codependency (to put it mildly). Oh, and hey! Threatening to kill yourself if your partner leaves isn't loving. Information technology'south a grade of emotional corruption.
Investing all your happiness and sense of self-worth in whatever relationship — one that, by definition, might i day end — is putting a lot of eggs in one basket. Sure, God may only know what you lot'd exist without her, but God probably also hopes you have, I don't know, some hobbies. Take a yoga form. Google some woodworking videos. Try kite surfing.
"Yeah! Hell yeah! What was her name again?" Photo by Jim Semlor/Federal Highway Administration.
One person cannot be anyone's be-all and stop-all. It'south too stressful. And it prevents yous from doing you, which is a matter that'due south gotta be done before you can do anything else.
No wonder she took that job in Seattle.
ii. "Treasure," past Bruno Mars
Sure, it's a blatant rip off of every Michael Jackson song you've ever heard. But, we don't take Michael Jackson anymore, and as tribute acts go, yous could exercise a lot worse than Bruno Mars.
Look at that confront. That face! Photo by Brothers Le/Flickr.
Here'south why the song sounds romantic:
Treasure, that is what you are
Honey, you lot're my gilded star
You know you lot can brand my wish come up truthful
If yous let me treasure you
If you let me treasure yous
Pass those lyrics to anyone on a used napkin at an eighth-course brand-out party and you'll likely get an instant cost laissez passer on the highway to tongue-boondocks (ew).
Pass them to your spouse and, chances are, date night is going to culminate in 47 minutes of chaste-yet-passionate frenching.
Pass them to a cop who pulls you over for running a stop sign, and they will think you're weird — simply probably yet make out with you.
In fact, Bruno Mars basically has a lifetime laissez passer to brand out with America because of this vocal.
This is what happens when you lot write "Treasure" and yous're on phase with Michelle Obama. Photo by Mandel Ngan/Getty Images.
And I'm OK with that.
But, here's why "Treasure" isn't as romantic every bit it seems:
Everything well-nigh "Treasure" is retro. Everything.
Including its attitudes most gender.
"Children, have I ever told you lot what I shouted at your mother on the street the first time we met?" Photo past Jacobsen/Getty Images.
Things start to become south right from the very beginning:
Requite me your, requite me your, give me your attending, baby
I gotta tell you a lilliputian something about yourself
Ah yeah. Nil screams "respect" quite like a man lecturing a strange woman on the street near something she "doesn't know about herself."
What could it be? Could it be that her jokes are funny? Could it be that she's got something in her teeth? Could it exist that her nonfiction book about early on modern German history is extremely detailed and informative?
"Thanks for teaching me all about Martin Luther's bible!" Photo by Torsten Schleese/Wikimedia Eatables.
Spoiler Alert: Information technology'southward none of those.
Yous're wonderful, flawless, ooh, you're a sexy lady
Simply you walk around here like y'all wanna be someone else
Oh. Information technology's that she's sexy. Cool, bro. Very original.
Word of advice? Regardless of how she's walking, the lady knows she's sexy. Even if she doesn't, it really doesn't bear upon her day-to-twenty-four hours and then much that you, a complete stranger, need to shout it at her (even over a funky disco snare).
So what if she does desire to be someone else? I'd love to exist someone else! I think being Ryan Gosling would be quite prissy. A good style to spend a 3-day weekend.
Sure, there'd be an adjustment catamenia... Photo past Eamonn Thousand. McCormack/Getty Images.
And then later on, of course, the narrator tin't help himself:
Pretty girl, pretty daughter, pretty girl, you lot should be smiling
A girl like you should never look so blue.
He respects her then much, he's actually straight-upwards telling her to grinning! Much like Mars' character "Uptown Funk," who appears to go off on angrily exhorting girls to "hit [their] hallelujah." Which, you know, I guess everybody'southward got a thing.
Yes, in the world of "Treasure," a healthy relationship is an unending stream of a man complimenting a strange adult female and said adult female existence then totally flattered that she immediately dispenses "the sex."
He then proceeds to talk to his potential lover like the world'due south creepiest pirate:
You are my treasure, you are my treasure
You are my treasure, yeah, you, you lot, you, you are
You are my treasure, you lot are my treasure
Yous are my treasure, yeah, you, you, you lot, you are
By this point, in his mind, she'south a literal thing. An object. Which is fitting.
I suppose it could be worse, though. At to the lowest degree she'southward not merely any thing.
GIF from "The 2 Towers."
That's ... something, correct?
3. "Don't Think Twice, It'south All Correct," past Bob Dylan
For every bit long equally humans have been dating each other, humans have been breaking up with each other. And "Don't Think Twice" is a portrait of a relationship going down in flames. Glorious, poetic, acoustic flames.
Bob Dylan, a guy who is good at writing songs that a lot of people like. Photograph by William Lovelace/Getty Images.
Hither's why information technology sounds romantic:
Well, it ain't no apply to sit and wonder why, babe
Even you don't know by now
And it own't no employ to sit and wonder why, babe
It'll never do somehow
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Await out your window, and I'll be gone
You're the reason I'm a-traveling on
But don't think twice, it's all correct.
Nail. Strummed on out of that friends-with-benefits situation similar whoa.
"Don't Think Twice" is a raw song. An honest song. A powerful song. It's the song your older sister played on continuous loop for six months later her beau left for college. The song that convinced your Aunt Roslyn to exit her depository financial institution-teller job, load her 4 Australian shepherds into the van, and open a wind chime store in Mendocino. The song your friend'southward cool dad always wants to play when he invited your high schoolhouse band over to his apartment to jam.
"What timbre are you looking for?" Photo by Sharon Ang/Pixabay.
Sure, information technology'south about the end of a relationship, but it sounds romantic. And at the end of the day, shouldn't that be enough?
Here's why it'south actually sooooo messed up:
Relationships stop. For a lot of reasons. And while there is no right fashion to call it quits with someone, when the dust settles, both parties can certainly benefit from a difficult, honest discussion nearly what went wrong.
It'south not me, Joan. Information technology's y'all. 100% you lot. Photo by Rowland Scherman/Getty Images.
In "Don't Recollect Twice," that discussion basically boils down to: "It's your fault."
Let'south review the reasons the dude in "Don't Think Twice" is splitting with his lady friend:
I gave her my heart, but she wanted my soul
Ugh, women, right? Yous're all like, "Babe, I just take so much unspecified love to requite," and she's like, "Have out the trash!" And you're like, "Only baaaaaaabe, shouldn't my heart be enough?" And she's like, "No, seriously. I already did the laundry, cleaned the whole house, fed the dog, did the dishes, and made both of our lunches for the calendar week. All I need you to do is have out the trash." And y'all're like, "You lot're bumming me out. I'grand gonna go play guitar." And so she gets all mad! What did you lot practise? Why is she trying to change you lot? UGH!
Y'all could have washed meliorate, but I don't mind
Yes. You do listen! You mind! You wrote a vocal almost it, you passive-aggressive prick.
Yous only kinda wasted my precious time
Ah yeah. Your time is so precious! Think nearly all the hours you lot wasted plumbing the body of water-deep, ecstatic mysteries of homo partnership when you could have been futzing around with that dwelling-brew kit.
Yes, this was worth it. Photo by Beak Bradford/Flickr.
The infinitesimal you starting time breaking it downwardly, the message of "Don't Retrieve Twice" all of a sudden starts to seem a lot less romantic. Like your sis's ex-boyfriend, who worked at the Bass Pro Store in town for a while and now might be in jail. Like your aunt's air current chime store, which would accept closed forever ago had she non received that inheritance from her mom in the '80s. Like your friend's cool dad, who wasn't exactly, technically, paying child support.
"You kids want a beer? No one's under thirteen, right?" Photo via iStock.
Oh yeah, and the song'due south narrator also point-blank refers woman he'southward leaving equally:
A child, I'm told
That'due south right. In addition to being a run-of-the-factory passive-aggressive jerk — turns out, he's besides perhaps a pedophile.
Even if nosotros are to accept that this is a metaphor and she's not really a kid — which there'due south no indication it is, but OK, Bob Dylan — the fact that Commitmentphobe Gunderson here would willingly choose an young partner reflects way more poorly on him than it does on her.
Breaking upwardly with anyone in such a fell, dismissive style is a recipe for sticking them with years of therapy bills.
Which, I suppose, may be the bespeak.
four. "Leaving on a Jet Plane," past John Denver
Who has two thumbs and wrote a bittersweet folk song about hurtling through the stratosphere in a giant aluminum tube at 600 miles per hour?
This guy. Photo past Hughes Television Network/Wikimedia Commons.
Here's why information technology sounds romantic:
"Leaving on a Jet Plane" is a lovely song. And impressive in its loveliness because jet planes were still kind of new at the time it was written.
'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet aeroplane
To a modern ear, this would be sort of like singing, "I'm a scoooting away on my hoverboooooard," merely in a way that's somehow still folksy and heartbreaking and singable by ix-year-olds at summer camp. Not easy to do!
Oh babe, I hate to go
You come across — he hates to get! He just hates it! Nosotros know this, because he tells the states he hates it. And why would he detest to go if he didn't love his partner simply that much?
Run across ya! Photo past Altair78/Wikimedia Commons.
Why indeed?
Here's why it's actually not that romantic at all:
All the plaintive guitar, loping bass line, and twangy, melancholy warbling in the world can only distract so much from the fact that the vocal'due south main character is well, kind of a jerkweed.
And in reality — surprise surprise! — it doesn't actually seem like he hates being away all that much:
At that place's and so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now, they don't mean a thing
"Babe, I promise! All the movies I watched alone while you were home nursing the quadruplets. All the times I drained our life savings on Zoo Zillionaire. All the random sex I had with other women. Totally meaningless. Certainly fun to exercise! Really fun. Like, I had a fantastic time. Merely rest bodacious — completely empty, in an ontological sense."
"As empty equally this bed I only finished having sex with someone else in." Photo via iStock.
Yes, when you break it down, "Leaving on a Jet Aeroplane," is less of a passionate tribute to love overcoming distance and more the deluded ramblings of a guy who needs to convince himself he's "adept" despite all testify to the contrary.
And for all he claims to be broken up about having to part from his one and only, the dude seems pretty excited virtually the flight. Oh, you're leaving on a jet plane, are you? Are you Zone 1? Gonna humblebrag on Twitter almost the "terrible" Cibo express salad y'all were forced to choke down equally you sat waiting to embark on your fun, mysterious risk?
"Life so difficult @ LGA #missingmybabe." Photograph past Gesalbte/Wikimedia Commons.
He continues:
Ev'ry place I get, I'll think of you lot
Ev'ry song I sing, I'll sing for you
Ah cool. He'll recall well-nigh her while strumming and making "my love is delicate as the morning dew" eyes at a waif-y grad student in the front row. That pretty much makes up for it all.
And then he demands:
Then kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you lot'll expect for me
After all the betrayal and heartbreak, afterward basically revealing himself to be a form-A sleaze who tin't be trusted, he still has the gall to tell her to wait? To wait for him?
And here'southward the kicker:
When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring
Ah yes. He'll put a ring on it. Finally.
"Ehhhhhhh...." Photo via iStock.
Unlike all the previous trips, where he's cheated a billion times, drained the family unit bank account, and but been a general screwup and disappointment.
Just yeah. This time he says he'll bring back a wedding ring.
I hope she joins a polyamorous octad and never looks back.
5. "When a Man Loves a Woman," Percy Sledge
When you await up "soul" in the dictionary, the book plays you a recording of this vocal.
Percy Sledge, having a few thoughts. Photograph past Factor Pugh/Flickr.
Specifically, it plays y'all the very get-go line.
Here's why information technology audio very romantic:
When a man loves a woman
Sure, you can write the lyrics down, but it doesn't fifty-fifty come close to capturing the heartache. The yearning. The delicious, succulent hurting-belting:
WHEN A MAN LOVES A Woman
Closer ... but even so no.
WHEN A MAAAAAAAN. LOVES A WOOOMAN!
Aye! Sing it, Percy Sledge!
It's an elemental lyric.
It's a heart-shattering lyric.
Information technology's a lyric that demands you put your back into information technology.
It'southward perfection.
Every bit long as you don't keep listening.
Here'south why the song is really pretty horrifying:
From the opening lines of "When a Man Loves a Woman," we know that, at least on occasion, a man loves a woman.
Which raises the question: What happens when said man loves said woman?
He'd give upwards all his comforts
And slumber out in the rain
If she said that'southward the way
It ought to be.
Whoa! OK. No. Back up. A man, no matter how devoted, no matter how selfless, no matter how in love, needs shelter. Otherwise, a man will die of exposure and hypothermia.
Turn his back on his best friend if he put her down.
No! Jeez. No. A human can't put up with that kind of isolating behavior. A homo needs friends! Once a human being's whole support system erodes out from under him, a man volition be bitter, ungrounded, and alone. And a man'southward mental health will deteriorate.
I gave you lot everything I have
Tryin' to hold on to your heartless love
Baby, please don't treat me bad.
This is not what happens "when a man loves a adult female." It's what happens when a man loves a controlling, manipulative woman. An abusive adult female. A woman who, in truth, only loves a woman. Herself.
"It'southward Chris or me." Photo by geralt/Pixabay.
And that's not healthy.
Run, Percy Sledge, run! Nosotros're here for you lot.
(Side note: Lest it go unsaid, in that location is mode more ane way for a man to love a adult female. Maybe they spend every waking moment cuddling and bopping each other on the nose. Peradventure they slumber in separate bedrooms. Peradventure they dress up in large, plush cat costumes and refer to each other Mr. and Mrs. Kittyhawk. And when a human being loves a human, I imagine information technology feels much the same. Or when a adult female loves a adult female. Or when a gender nonconforming person loves a gender nonconforming person.)
Regardless of the depth of delivery, living state of affairs, or combination of genders or sexual orientations, at that place's no one-size-fits-all love solution. Every relationship is a unique snowflake. Variety is the spice of life. Necessity is the mother of invention. There'southward more than one mode to pare a cat. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.
It doesn't matter if information technology'due south the right metaphor, as long equally information technology'southward a metaphor. Photo by Rosmarie Voegtli/Flickr.
Point being: Generalize at your peril, Sledge. And please, seek help! Yous can do this! And if you ever find yourself in a similar situation, please give these people a telephone call.
6. "All I Wanna Do is Make Dearest to Yous," Eye
Honestly, Heart could sing a list of the about pop AllRecipes ("Jaaaamie's Cranberry Spinach Saaaaalad/World's All-time Lasaaaaagna/Sour Creeeeeam Cutouts") and information technology would make me want to bawl my optics out in the arms of a tall, night stranger at the end of a pier.
This song is perfect. You should always be listening to it. If you're not listening to it at present, smack yourself in the face and Google it. It's but that important.
I am singing the phone book. Y'all are weeping like a tiny infant. Photograph by FatCat125/Wikimedia Commons.
So much passion. So much pain. And so much hair.
Hither's why it sounds romantic:
Over pounding drums and a soaring melody, Centre sisters Nancy and Ann Wilson deliver a primal tribute to the ane true romantic fantasy shared by every living beingness on Globe: picking up an unnervingly attractive human being for one night of mind-blowing sexual activity and and so releasing him back into the wild to bone — but never quite as compellingly ever once again.
They sing:
It was a rainy dark when he came into sight
Standing past the road, no umbrella, no glaze
Then I pulled up alongside and I offered him a ride
He accepted with a grinning so we drove for a while
I don't accept to become on because you know what happens next, and it's awesome.
"I just sit in this cabin. Counting the days since. Counting ... the ... days." Photo by Rene Asmussen/Pexels.
At present, here's why this song is not romantic at all:
The relationship in "All I Wanna Do" seems as well good to be true. And it is. Because it's not an as loving ,or even every bit lusty, pairing at all.
It'southward a...
Information technology's a...
Well. You lot know what it is:
Proficient at recognizing no-win situations and delicious with lemon?! Photo by Pikawil/Flickr.
For a while, things are bustling along just fine, like any wholesome, illicit, anonymous affair should:
I didn't enquire him his proper noun, this lonely boy in the rain
Fate, tell me it's right, is this dearest at first sight?
Sure, many of us might hesitate to option upwardly a foreign leather-jacket-clad man continuing on the side of the road for a no-strings-attached screw, but our narrator merely has a feeling well-nigh this guy, and sometimes, you lot gotta go with your gut.
I can respect that.
Nosotros made magic that nighttime
He did everything right
Not bad! Seems like it was a good decision. Bonking the hitchhiker is payin' off big time.
But and so, without warning, the song starts to sound less similar an all-fourth dimension great romance and more like a story men's rights activists tell each other as they vape around a bivouac:
I told him "I am the blossom, y'all are the seed
We walked in the garden, we planted a tree
Don't try to find me, please don't y'all dare
Just live in my memory, you'll always be there"
I'grand not a poet. Symbolic linguistic communication oftentimes eludes me. But unless "blossom," "seed," "garden," and "tree," suddenly mean wildly dissimilar things in the context of homo reproduction than they have since sex was get-go invented in the early on-1970s, we're talking about a surprise, non-mutually-consensual pregnancy!
HELLO! Photo past Avsar Aras/Wikimedia Commons.
Of course, metaphors are opaque, interpretations vary, etc., etc., etc. Y'all might be tempted to think, "Maybe Heart meant something else past that."
To that I say, no, they definitely meant information technology:
Then information technology happened one day
We came round the same way
You tin can imagine his surprise
When he saw his ain eyes
There are 2 possibilities here.
One: The narrator of the song is recently-deceased Jerry Orbach from this creepy New York Metropolis subway ad from nine years ago:
Photo by eyedonation.org.
Or two: She totally conned a dude into whipping up a baby on the sly.
I said, "Please, please understand
Ah, sure. Yeah. No worries.
I'm in dear with another man
Cool, and then this all makes sense and is in no way the nightmarish scheme of a deranged sociopath who has now wrecked not ane merely 2 lives.
And what he couldn't give me, oh, no
Was the i little thing that you can"
A Human LIFE! A Real SENTIENT Human being LIFE THAT IS Not INCIDENTAL TO ALL OF THIS!
The best y'all can say nearly that is that it's not technically illegal, and that leather-jacket man probably should take been responsible for his own birth control. Or, at the very least, asked more questions .
But ... it's non cute. Information technology'due south not romantic (even the Wilson sisters themselves agree).
And at the end of the day, the shadiest grapheme in this song is somehow not the rain-soaked hitchhiker wandering to nowhere in the nighttime.
Which... is maxim something.
But at that place is a love song that is truly, madly, deeply perfect. An unassailable track in a sea of problematic faves.
A song that does everything right.
A vocal that paints a portrait of a good for you partnership congenital to final.
A vocal that can double every bit a manual for the ideal human romantic relationship.
And that vocal is...
"Candy Shop," past l Cent, featuring Olivia
Here's why you might exist — OK, almost definitely are — skeptical:
50 Cent (L) and that guy. You know, that guy? That guy! Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images.
As tricky equally "Processed Shop" is, as fun it is to trip the light fantastic toe to, and every bit cathartic equally it can be to scream in the eye of a crowded fraternity house at ii a.1000., there's no getting around the fact that the song begins like this:
I'll take you lot to the candy store
I'll allow you lick the lollipop
I'll post that once more, in instance y'all missed some of the nuance:
I'll have you to the candy shop
I'll permit you lick the lollipop
Way to take i for the squad, narrator of "Processed Store"!
At first glance, "Processed Store" is nobody's thought of a classic love song.
The lyrics are ... unusually forward. The beat out is kinda basic. The hook is like the music they play when Abu Nazir sidles scarily past in "Homeland."
OooooOOOOoooooOOOo. GIF from "Homeland."
It doesn't get played much anymore. When it does resurface, it feels ... kinda dated. Like watching that DVD of "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" on your new Xbox 360.
It's not a song you'd put on a mixtape for your crush. It'south not a song you'd play for your spouse when the kids are at abode with the babysitter and you've got nine hours to tear up the Piscataway Hampton Inn. It'south certainly not a vocal you'd include on the video photo montage y'all made for your grandparents' silver anniversary.
It'due south simply non.
But it should be.
And so here it is. Here'southward why "Candy Store" by fifty Cent, featuring Olivia, is actually the perfect human relationship song:
Y'all wanna back that thing upwards or should I push up on it? Photo past ionasnicolae/Pixabay.
The bass drum hits. The MIDI violins whine. The singer starts filling out his fellatio permission skid. Information technology's only been xx seconds, and you're already getting prepare to hang it upward with "Candy Shop."
Just then ... over the square thrum and the mewling strings, a miracle occurs — in the grade of a female voice joining the rails, cutting through the din like a clarion call.
She sings:
I'll take you to the candy shop (yeah)
Boy, one taste of what I got (uh-huh)
I'll take you lot spendin' all you got (come on)
Keep going 'til you hit the spot, whoa
It's mutual! Information technology'southward common! They're performing oral sex on each other!
Ring the bells! Bang the drums! Release the doves!
Go, cunnilingus doves, go! Photo by liz west/Flickr.
50 Cent himself may not be the earth's greatest partner — for example, according to one of his exes, he'southward done some pretty unforgivable things.
Merely the narrator of "Candy Shop"? He gets it:
You could have it your way, how do you lot want it?
Rather than but imposing his desires on the person he'due south with — a la the dude in "God Just Knows ("I'yard going to invest my entire sense of self-worth in you!") or the street heckler in "Treasure" ("I'chiliad going to treat you lot like a chest total of gold doubloons!") or the sociopath in "All I Wanna Practise is Make Love to You," ("I'thou going to trick y'all into knocking me up!") — the "Candy Shop" guy actually asks his partner what she wants.
Which, in the world of popular music, is good for about fifty,000 trillion points.
And where are they going to do it? The hotel? Back of the rental? The beach? The park?
It's whatsoever yous're into
'Cause consent is sexy!
I ain't finished instruction you lot 'tour how sprung I got ya
The narrator of "Candy Store" is certainly ... assertive about his desires.
Just here's the key thing: the lady on the receiving end of those desires? She's clearly into it. And we know this because she says so.
The lines of consent in "Candy Shop" are brilliant red, highlighted, and soldered into the weirdly sticky order floor.
Meanwhile, Robin Thicke is outside trying to convince the bouncer that his uncle is a lawyer. Photo by Grim23/Wikimedia Commons.
Girl what nosotros exercise ...
And where nosotros practice ...
The things we do ...
Are merely between me and you
No matter how nasty they freak, information technology will be intimate. It will be private. There volition be no revenge porn (the epilogue to "Blurred Lines," to wit, would definitely exist a protracted, emotionally devastating lawsuit).
If you be a nympho, I'll be a nympho
Sexual compatibility is key to the survival of whatsoever relationship, whether years, weeks, or (very mayhap in the example of "Candy Shop") minutes long.
She may accept a high sex drive, just dude is graciously offering to accommodate her. What a gentleman! These crazy kids merely might go the distance subsequently all.
And at the end of the solar day, what is a relationship but two nymphos, sharing health insurance?
Thank you, Obamacare! Photo by Wonderlane/Flickr.
It'due south like information technology'south a race who could get undressed quicker
Again, everybody is having a great time. And, critically, an as great fourth dimension.
I impact the right spot at the correct time
Of course, it wouldn't be a popular/hip-hop hit without a spot of random braggadocio, but if nosotros're to take him at his word, "Candy Store" guy is at least as good at "doing everything right" as the anonymous hitchhiker from "All I Wanna Do is Brand Dear to You" — except without all the creepy surprise baby nonsense.
The "Candy Shop" guy is a keeper. Because he'due south not a hero or a stranger in the dark or a funky, shimmering beloved god. He's a skilful partner.
"Processed Store" is raunchy. It's muddied. It'southward non your grandmother's honey song.
Simply when you lot strip away the swagger, the dorsum beat, and the weird strings from "All-time of Public Domain Centre Eastern Music 1993," by the end of the song, both people are satisfied. And at the end of the day, isn't that what a healthy relationship is all near?
Aye.
Uh-huh.
Photo by Francois Durand/Getty Images.
So seductive.
Source: https://www.upworthy.com/6-songs-that-seem-romantic-but-arent-and-one-that-seems-like-it-isnt-but-is
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